Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Day Seventy-nine

Somtimes I don't feel like I'm really alive, in this world, in objective reality. I exist as a voyeur, with my thoughts wandering around in the fog of my mind, trying to penetrate and reach a clarity, a fresh state of mind where I can really feel. Not just feel as in, say, feelings, but feel a connectedness with the larger world - something I'm finding that I lack and very anxiously want.

While having an active imagination is great, it's no good to feel trapped by your dream world, turning you into a recluse. This may not seem like a "happy" post, but I'm glad I've had these realizations - I'm always trying to improve myself. My big obstacle is myself, I have zero sense of follow through and new habits are hard to break in. But I think with some reflection and dedication, I'll manage to bring about whatever changes I want for my life in order to be the person I want to be.

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