Friday, March 13, 2009

Day Forty-seven

It's sleeting/raining outside, hahaha the weather lately has been totally crazy and unpredictable.

Here, an important message:

For me, I don't think my face is very expressive - I work in hospitality, so I do a lot of smiling, but they aren't real smiles, they're "it's my job to smile now!" smiles. I don't know, then, because they aren't heartfelt, that they're big enough, or obvious enough, or come through on my inexpressive face. Or, really, any subtle change in my face, I might furrow my brow ever so slightly, but I wonder if anyone notices the little change in expression. Really, I think things like facial expressions and posture and hand gestures are very important, and I immediately notice them in other people. I wonder if people do the same with me, and what they read from that... I wonder if it's the things I want to say; probably not, things like posture and gesture tend to say, maybe along with what you want to say, things you really didn't mean to say.

Hm, maybe I'll start keeping a record in my moleskine of what makes me smile everyday - write it down immediately, "such and such". Or at least, when I'm able to get to it. I guess I have a secret, something that makes me smile every time - but I can't talk about it, it's a little weird! Although I'm sure a lot of people feel that way - but secret pleasures are somehow more fun than pleasures that are out in the open.

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